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The nothing Network To Members and Visitors: Speaking from the tongue of an experienced demi-webmaster who obviously would rather be an emasculated, rich, bitchy webmaster, this note should be pretty easy to understand. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listing as well as creating websites along with reviewing and writing for too long now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're meeting and the mail comes in and the manic roar of the alert begins it doesn't affect the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the email, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I add more websites. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that we have helped and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. We're too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a beginner. On our last three meetings I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our website, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all websites and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know. We have gods of helpers who sweat ambition and empathy and a team who reminds me too much of what we used to be. I can't stand the thought of TNN becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past weeks. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. peace, love, empathy. jesse and jacob. erik and keith, we'll be at your alters. OK, so we're NOT going to kill ourselves. We're simply retiring. Jesse has a lot of work with other organizations (http://www.aranet.org) and Jacob (Chainsaw/Lord of Lard) has his sites, too. At our peak, we were as appreciative to all of you as we were in our darkest hours, and we love all of you for your support. I think that tnn simply came before the world was ready for it, and now with Evan's site and the rest we aren't exactly any more fitting. But it was a fun ride while it lasted, and remember - we're not dead, just retired. Until we meet again, thanks for everything....and continue on, because remember, it's all for nothing. - j & j