The Perfect Rug

(a parody of "the perfect drug," in case you couldn't figure it out)

:::sounds of scuffling feet, gradually getting louder:::

I pull the thread but my rug isn't unraveling
No signs of holes, not one staple, tac, or other things
I like the fabric 'cause it's made so good
Not even a footprint left on where I stood

I vaccum once and you stay clean for about 9 weeks
Pet stains will fall but they don't set in, which pleases me
Food doesn't mark, nor the spills from the wine
And when I tread on you, you smell like pine

Glad I bought you
Glad I bought you
Glad I bought you
Glad I bought you

You are the perfect rug, the perfect rug, the perfect rug
You are the perfect rug, the perfect rug, the perfect rug

You are so soft, and very pleasing to the eye
I sit on you the moment I step inside
I loved your hue straight from the start
Without you my motif would fall apart

Shoe mud is too impure to smear on you
I fear not what will reside on you
My home is so perfect with you inside
I think you're going to outlive me

Glad I bought you
Glad I bought you
Glad I bought you
Glad I bought you

You are the perfect rug, the perfect rug, the perfect rug
You are the perfect rug, the perfect rug, the perfect rug (ect.)

:::Vaccume cleaner solo. Lots of loud, er, sucking noises :::

Not one, stain on you
Not one, stain on you
Without you, without you my motif falls apart
Without you, I'd have to live on a cold wooden floor
Without you, without you my motif falls apart
Without you, I'd have to live on a cold wooden floor
geckolio@aol.com

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