This brilliant continuing story was written by podgrlnin@aol.com and twigglite@aol.com. Be sure to e-mail them your praises, and please don't use any of these stories without their permission.
NINformation
Written by: Podgrlnin and Twigglite
Chapter One: " A Christmas Frolic"
(On a cold,winter day in New Orleans, the door to Trent's house slightly
opens. Trent peeks out of the crack and starts to giggle. The little snow
flurrys fall and tickel his nose. He goes inside and drags out a very short
guy. It's Chris, he's cute drummer boy)
(Trent) Come on Chris, you wanna play in the snow?? Please, Please??
(Chris) Man Trent, go get Danny or Charlie to play with you.
(Trent) Come on Chris, you got to learn how to frolic...come on..frolic with
me!
(Chris) Go frolic with yourself. I'm going inside.
(While Trent and Chris argue, Twiggy and Robin come skipping out of the house
hand in hand)
(Twiggy and Robin) It's snowing. It's snowing!!
(Trent drags Chris through the snow over to Robin and Twiggy. They roll on
the ground while Chris just stands and mumbles to himself)
(Robin) Hey! Let's make a snow women...or even a snowman!!
(Twiggy) Let's make a snow-drag-queen!!
(All of a sudden Chris throws himself to the ground)
(Chris) I know, lets make some snowangles!!!
(Trent, Robin, and Twiggy give him a look)
(Chris) What?! What?! I'm frolicing ok?!!
(They shrug and join Chris making snowangles. They laugh and play like little
children)
(All of a sudden, the door flys open and a very disturbed Manson stomps out
of the house)
(Manson) Ok, what the fuck is going on? You, Twiggy, what the hell is wrong
with you?
(Manson comes over and pulls Twiggy up. He starts to cry and lays his head on
Manson)
(Manson) Who's idea was it to make the snowangles?
(Everybody gets up and points to Chris who is still making the snowangles and
laughing)
(Trent and Robin start to giggle but stop after getting a look from Manson.
Twiggy stops crying only to start whimpering. Manson grabs Chris and pulls
him up to his feet and starts motioning them to go inside)
(Moans from Trent, Robin, and Twiggy) Ah man..your no fun...
(Manson turns and starts to head back inside when he is beaned in the head
with a snowball. He turns around and sees that the boys are having a snowball
fight)
(Manson) All right, that's it..Everybody get back inside the house!
(END)
(Next week.... Trent and Chris plant a garden!)
Thanks to: The NIN boys ( exspecially Podboy - I love you!!! ), Manson and
Twiggy.
Forfrankie(Hope you like the story!) Vrenna1, junkiegrrl,
Twiggy302, Gngrfsh, and my trusty friend and partner in writing - Twigglite
a.k.a Erin Riley
No offense to NIN or Manson...just some weird kinky thoughts and dreams put
into text for the enjoyment of others!!
NINformation
written by Podgrlnin and Twigglite
Chapter Two "The Garden"
(It's now spring in New Orleans. The flowers are blooming, the birds are
chriping, and the people are passed out on the sidewalk again. It's a bright,
cheerful, sunny day at the NIN house. The slight sound of merry laughter is
coming from the backyard. We see that Trent, wearing a flowered apron, white
gloves, and a straw hat, is digging up some dirt. Chris is wearing some cute
daisy dukes with a pink apron and pink gloves.)
(Chris is planting some tulips) Trent, what do you think..White tulips or
pink tulips?
(Trent) Hummm...I'd go with the pink
(He holds up a rose and hands it to Chris)
(Trent) Here you go sugar pea
(Chris puts the rose up to his nose and smells the sweet aroma)
(Chris) Thank you pumpkin pie
( They start to giggle, when all of a sudden, Danny walks over and steps in
the roses)
(Danny) Hiya Guys!
(Trent and Chris in horror) Babys!!!
(Trent picks up a crushed rose and wipes a tear from his eye)
(Trent) Are you ok babys??
(Trent looks at Danny) You rose killer!! Get off of them...Get off!
(Danny is confused and walks off after giving Trent and Chris a
god-you-guys-are-gay look)
(Chris) Damn, now we have to plant these things all over again
(Trent) Wanna take a break?
(Chris) Sure..I'll make the cookies and lemonade!
(Trent and Chris go skipping inside. After a few hours of work, they are done
with planting the garden and they go inside for the day)
(Four pairs of feet come into the garden. They hustle around and snicker,
then leave)
(After a couple of weeks , Trent and Chris come back to the garden and are
shocked to find that the garden has been killed)
(Chris falling to his knees) I can't figure it out..We did everything
right...(Crys)
(Trent lays his hand on Chris's shoulder and crys with him)
(Around the corner of the house, snickering is heard. Manson, Podgrlnin,
Twigglite, and Forfrankie all zip up their pants and laugh)
(END)
(Next week.......Chris finally beats the shit out of Reznor)
Thanks to twigglite ( my partner in crime and writing), The NIN boys, Manson,
Forfrankie, and others that I have included.....
NINformation
Chapter 3 "Podboy Strikes Back"
(In Dallas, Texas, the NIN band and crew are setting up for the concert that
night. Danny, Chris, and Charile are setting up while Trent is off somewhere.
They whisper among themselves)
(Trent enters)
(Danny) Humm, Trent. We were talking and wondering if we could do this show
acapello?
(Charlie) Yeah, you know, we're tired of you throwing things at us. I mean,
you broke my fucking hand the other night, not to mention the accident with
Chris....
(They all look at Chris who is giving Trent a go-to-hell look. He mumbles
something and goes back to setting up his drum set)
(Trent) Oh fucking come on! That was an accident! I was too into the moment.
(Chris shakes his head and walks out and the others follow)
(9:00 p.m. Concert time. Chris is sitting a little lower than usual. The rest
of the band are tuning their intruments. Trent goes on stage and they start
the show)
(Trent) Terrible lie......terrible lie!!!!
(Time passes and no one has been hurt yet. Trent breaks into March of the
Pigs. The band members slowly inch off the stage)
(Trent) I wanna break it up, I wanna fuck it up, I wann.....HEY! GET YOUR
ASSES BACK ON STAGE DAMMIT!
(The band members run back on stage, shaking with nervessness)
(Trent)Pusseys...All the pigs are all lined up.....
(They break into Happiness in Slavery. Trent picks up the mic stand and
starts swinging it around. Danny dives to the ground before getting smacked
by Trent. Trent turns a 360* and lets go of the mic stand. It flys over
Chris's head. He stops playing and throws his drum sticks at Trent)
(Chris) THAT'S IT!!
(He starts taking down his drum set and starts throwing the pieces at Trent
one at a time. Trent ducks the flying drum set and rises up to get smacked in
the head with the foot pedal. He runs to the side of the stage, but is
blocked by a very pissed off Danny and Charlie. Chris goes after Trent with a
cymbal)
(Trent points behind Danny and Charlie) Look! It's Jenny McCarthy!!
(They turn around and Trent pushes past them, but Chris dives for his feet
and knocks Trent to the ground)
(Trent) It was an accident! Really! Chris, what about our friendship?? The
times we frolic together??
(Chris) Frolic this short boy!!!
(Cymbal comes down on Trent's head and he is knocked unconcious. Chris gets
up and wipes his hands)
(Chris) Much better. Take him to the back boys, and tie him up...He's gonna
be PISSED when he wakes up
(Chris looks at the stunned audience) Anybody want an instrumental concert??
(END)
podgirlnin@aol.com
NINformation
Chapter 4
"The Downward Chicken"
Yes folks it's happened again. Trent has gone insane. Rumor
has it that the new NIN album will be called "The Downward Chicken". When
asked about the name, Mr. Reznor stated, "Chris and I were so fucking bored
with donuts that we went down to the Kentucky Fried Chicken. Chris started
singing the commerical song when I got this fucking awesome idea. I told
Chris to hitch up the wagon and head to Texas. He looked at me and asked if
something was in my chicken, so I hit him over the head with a honey milk
biscuit."
Mr. Reznor was kind enough to let some excerts from 5 of the
songs. 1) The Downward Chicken 3:14) She couldn't believe how easy it was.
She put her butt on the nest. LAY! ( so many eggs through such a tiny hole)
Chickens have jobs. A lifetime of reproduction fixed up in one determine
squeeze. Everything's white in this nest. The lightest shade of marshmellow
white. All hard..spilling out of her butt....2) Happiness in the Nest 4:54)
Chicks cluck, they think they will be fed. Chicks cluck, they scream for
something to eat. Chicks cluck, the hen hears but doesn't want to listen.
Chicks cluck, the rooster beats them into submission. Don't open your beaks
you won't get anything to eat. The cocks of the nest steal the morsels of
wheat. Don't open your beaks take it from me..I am hungry so are you
happiness in the nest...3) Feathersey 5:32) He flexed his arms out, to keep
his flock of chicks in line. He made a soap out of chickens called Soup
Divine. His perfect farm of plucking and butchering in vain. Demands
devotion, clucking out to lift his name. Your farmer's dead, and no one
cares. If there is a barn..He's buried there. 4) Big Chicken with a Beak
3:14) I am a big chicken, yes I am. And I got a big beak. I'm gonna fly all
over you and peck at your feet. Held a wing against your forehead, well I'm
make you pluck it. Maybe put a hole in your leg, you know, just for the cluck
of it. 5) A Warm Nest 6:34 no lryics avalible)
thank you thank you again to Twiglite..aka Erin (who wrote Happiness in the
Nest and The Downward Chicken) Forfrankie, RapeofEden, Junkiegrrl, and
Christopher Vrenna...
oh yeah..and to Trent...duh..how could I forget... :)
NINformation Grammys!! Straight from the offical NINformation headquarters (a.k.a. Podgrl's computer room) are the results of days of painstaking decisions about who rules and who totally sucks and should be strung up by their feet and disembowled in todays music. With the Grammy's coming up, we felt that it was our duty to acknowledge the categories that really matter, not shit like "The Best Polka Album." If you are in any way repulsed by our winners..GO MAKE YOUR OWN DAMNED LIST and leave us alone. Thanks, Podgrl and Twigglit 1) Biggest Nose Award - Trent Reznor ( 21ft and 7in.) 2) Most amount of hair possible on a human being award - Jonathan Davis (Korn) 3) Best use of a microphone on stage to hospitalize a band member award - Trent R. 4) The Bon Jovi ( we don't realize we suck) award - Spice Girls 5) Best lyrics from a song Award - If it hurts baby please tell me-preserve the innocent - Marilyn Manson's "Tournique" 6) Public Enemy #1 Award - Marilyn Manson 7) Scarriest Singer/Group Award - Hootie and the Blowfish ( can't sleep at night knowing this kind of music is out there) 8) Best Bald Shiny Mellon Head Award - Chris Vrenna ( when he was bald ) and Nigel Pulsford ( Bush ) 9) Best Soundtrack Song Award - From "The Crow", "Dead Souls" and "Golgotha Tenement Blues." 10) Worst Soundtrack Song Award - From "Benny and Joon", "I would walk 500 hundred miles." 11) Best Musican in a Movie Award - David Bowie "Labyrinth" 12) Worst Musican in a Movie Award - Whitney Houston ( everything she does ) 13) Best Voice Award - Manson 14) Worst Voice Award - Hootie ( who else?) 15) Best Guitarist Award - Daisy ( who hath departed before he could receive this award) 16) Best Bassist Award - Twiggy ( who else we ask again ) 17) Coolest member in a band that got smart and left Award - Robin Finck 18) Best Drummer Award - Vinnie Paul ( Pantera ) Sorry Chris.... 19) Best Keyboardist Award - The cool blonde guy from Prodigy! 20) Best New Band Award - The Prodigy 21) Band that you wish would die Award - Spice Girls ( enough is enough ) 22) Worst Breakup Award - Pop Will Eat Itself 23) Reunion that would kick ass Award - The Pixies ( Like that would ever happen..) 24) Reunion you wish would have never happened Award - Kiss 25) Most annoying chick you would like to slap Award - The whinning Alanis.... 26) Persons you would like to see in a screaming contest Award - Trent Reznor and Courtney Love ( damn what a site that would be ) 27) Weirdest Video Award - Greedy Fly "Bush" ( He kicked that angels ass!!) 28) The Band that everyone thinks sold out, but is really the best out there Award - Nine Inch Nails 29) The Band that everyone wished that they could beat the hell out of and crucifiy Award- Hootie and The Blowfish 30) The Band that will make a comeback but go out with a bang Award - Nine Inch Nails Thank you!! Podgrlnin and Twigglit :) :)
More of the NINformation series will be up as soon as it's written. Check back weekly.
